Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
