So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
