I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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