You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
