Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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