I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
