I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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