You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
