I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize