after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
my poor anus
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
