ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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