You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
