I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
