There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
