i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
