you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we made out on top of his cat.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
