Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
