apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
