i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
