There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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