fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
