does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize