Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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