just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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