btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
