yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wish my penis had a tongue
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
