he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
