i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
