How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Alive.
So much puke
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
