mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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