Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize