If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
