I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
handjob tips. give me some.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
