i need an iv and a liver transplant
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize