saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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