I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
