yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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