Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
