Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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