...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is the high leading the old right now
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
