Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
