we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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