and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
