I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
