bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
