Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
