I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
