if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
