Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
