accomplished twins. life is a go
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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