I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
