winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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