HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
