You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
