Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
