Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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