I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
