Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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