even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize