i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
