no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
