If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize