On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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