I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
