my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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